Needing Emptiness.

This becoming a Dad thing is starting to hit me in the heart as Chrissy enters the second trimester of the pregnancy. In about 24 weeks (Lord willing) the reality of fatherhood will be in my arms and on my mind constantly. I'm not freaking out or getting anxious but rather I am starting to really consider what it means to be a dad, not just a friend or leader, but a father. I want to be the best dad ever; I want to be the greatest earthly example for this child. 

It's crazy though because the more I think about the "methods" I'll use or the attitudes that I'll want to portray the more I am realizing that I can't ever be in control. I can't be the "counselor" that the culture tells me I need to be. 

I'm re-reading this book "Forgotten God" by Francis Chan and I am reminded that in my life and in my daily routine I cannot fully function on my own power. I mean, I can get by and do what I think is best for me, Chrissy and this child, but in all reality who just wants to just "get by"? I want to THRIVE! I want us to LIVE! I desire freedom and peace; not just for me but for my family. 

And the craziest thing of all is that in order to attain this sense of freedom and fullness of life I need to give up the steering wheel. I need to let go. I need to be led and not lead. It may sound cliche or cheesy but it's completely true. If I want to be the best dad, youth pastor, restaurant server, husband and friend I need to make room for the Spirit of the living God to lead and take full control of my life. 

This is so hard to do! My mind tells me that I have everything under control, there's no need to change the conductor of this life because we're doing just fine. We're getting by!

And that's exactly it! I'm sick of just getting by! I'm sick of complacency and comfort! I'm sick of settling for attaining cultural success. 

"When we are at our wits' end for an answer, then the Holy Spirit can give us an answer. But how can He give us an answer when we are still well supplied with all sorts of answers of our own?" - Karl Barth

I am committing to praying every day to be led and not be the leader of my life. I am committing to praying for 30 days to ask God to empty me more and more and give room for the Spirit to work and move through and in me. again. 

- He must become greater, I must become less - John 3:30

- Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me. For whoever wants to save their lives will lose it - Jesus

A New Diet

I love food! I don't simply like just looking at the food though. I love eating food. A good pizza pie or juicy steak always hits the spot in my stomach. One issue with having a pregnant woman in the house is that her sense of smell is ridiculously high. She can not stand the smell of certain foods, which makes it hard to eat food these days, for the both of us. My diet is now limited to mac and cheese and frozen pizza's (on a good day).

All that to say this....
I am reminded of Ezekiel's experience. In chapter 3 we read of God telling Ezekiel to eat a scroll. I believe Ezekiel literally ate a scroll and Ezekiel tells us it tasted like "honey". After he eats the scroll God sends him to the Israelites as a prophet. (if you haven't read this account you should check it out: Ezekiel 3).
This story and this new "diet" of mine also remind me of Galatians 6:7-10. Paul is talking about the spiritual well being of the Galatian people and is warning them that "a man reaps what he sows".
With all of this in mind I can't help but evaluate what I have been digesting on spiritually. Am I eating, not literally, the scroll (the Word's of God)? Or am I eating up the desires of my flesh (pride, selfishness, greed, laziness)? Just as our literal food diets determine how healthy our bodies are so does our spiritual intake determine how healthy our spiritual lives are.
I hope, like me, you are willing to truly evaluate what you are intaking every day and consider the principle that Paul gives us in Galatians 6.
I know that there are some things that I need to go "cold turkey" on and get out of my life and I can also think of things that I need to start adding to my daily diet.
I hope to eat of the scroll like Ezekiel and let it savor in my mouth like honey. I hope to sow more fruitful plants in my spiritual life so that my neighbors, friends, family and this up coming child can taste and see the fruit that God has given harvest to in my life.

-Blessings

...waiting is the hardest part...

One of the biggest reasons I wanted to start writing again is so that one day I can look back at how life was and remember where God has brought me from. It is always so cool to be able to look back at my future and see how God directly has provided, shaped and been there all along through my life.

A big prayer that has been on my heart and lips has been that God would always guide. It sounds cliche  and everything, but I really do want that. I want His guidance, not my own, or some pastor's "wisdom"or follow whatever some book says. I want my Father's guidance!
One thing that He has been stirring in my heart and mind, and what I believe He is guiding me towards, is youth ministry. Working closely with students and young people to help them traverse the mystery of life. I don't try to necessarily pursue this calling, but it seems to follow me wherever I go and with whatever I do. It's how God has wired me.
So, if you believe in prayer as I do, would you pray for guidance in my life? True guidance! Guidance for not just "career ministry" or a job but also for guidance on how to be a great father to our unborn child and how to be a better husband. I never want to stop growing and learning and there is only One who I want to learn the most from....My Heavenly Dad!

-Blessings to you all

Life... Act II

I've missed writing. I've missed sharing thoughts, struggles, joys and lessons learned. A few years ago I started The Story and The Song and when I was writing those post I can remember coming from a constant spirit of brokeness. I was constantly sharing thoughts on some deep struggles I dealt with and some that my closest friends battled through. But now it seems that that particular season of life has passed. My friends have grown and overcome many of their stuggles. I have matured and am now a married man with a beautiful baby on the way. Life has changed.
And so thus I am wanting to continue and resume writing and sharing and hopefully bringing encouragement.
This blog is not going to be directed at only men, or only people with children, but rather I hope to bring and share life lessons, stories, struggles, prayers, devotions and more than anything, simply share my life with you...my friends and family.
Feel free to comment on posts, steal my ideas, give feedback, but most of all I hope you grow with me, learn with me, and pray with me. (i've been doing a lot of that since I found out Chrissy was pregnant)
-Blessings to you all

"For My thoughts are not your thoughts, and neither are your ways my ways", declares the Lord.
"As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts higher than your thoughts." - Isaiah 55:8,9